Reflections on the sensations of swimming

And though we are like the sea and it's right we be so
we could chase tails all the years I've been given.

'There's one man, he's like
the wishful thinking in my life, I see so
and he's like the wine on the weekend...
and though he is like the sea and it's right he be so
if I hold tight he'll wash over me...

There's one girl I like she's a smile on a Monday
and she'll fight to stay so...
and she's like the sun on the weekend
and though she is like the sea and she's right to be so
still I like that she sails with me...' - Lisa Hannigan

These polaroids were taken maybe a little under a year ago, but only today did I manage to find the rest of the set hidden in a Moleskine and scan them in.

I took them not long after my friend and I had purchased our favourite polka dot bathing suits and mine was enough of a novelty that I was wearing it most days under my dresses, even when I didn't plan to swim. I remember that the camera was a novelty too, and J. was worried about getting sunburnt. Summer heat and a day spent floating around an inflatable swimming pool; the feeling of tiptoeing out back and forth from the house through the sharp, crunchy gravel on the driveway. Polaroids floating on the surface of the water, the strange sensation of our skin pruning and the faint, comforting (am I the only one to think this?) scent of chlorine.

One of my resolutions for the summer is to swim more. Swim a lot. I had a dream once that someone asked me what I would have liked to do with my life, had I been able to re-live it - for some reason, I told them that I would have spent more time swimming in the ocean.

Tomorrow, I plan to spend some time at the beach.

On hair, Cracks and the 1930s.

Oh dear, I'm pretty sure that posting stills from Cracks in monochrome goes against some sort of moral code - as anyone who has seen the film will know, the colours are incredibly gorgeous - but I rather selfishly wanted them to fit with my own photographs, so never mind! For anyone that hasn't seen the film, well, you should. It's set in the 1930s and has one of the most inspiring, incredible costume/wardrobe designs ever, as well as gorgeous cinematography and the clipped, boarding school accents and...perhaps I should do a separate post on the film itself since I could go on forever!

The 1930s is one of my favourite decades in terms of fashion, but also in terms of hairstyles - it seems to be a really lovely intermediary between the sleek bobs of the '20s and the longer styles of the '40s. But while I've always admired the cuts from afar, my own hair has been shoulder length or longer since I was a little girl.

About a month ago I watched Cracks for the first time and seeing Eva Green striding around with her gorgeous wavy, slightly outgrown bob; as well as seeing the same style, slightly less maintained, on most of the girls on her characters diving team made me swoon. I loved Di, Poppy and Fuzzy's hair the most, so a few days later and very impulsively, I got all of my long hair cut off into a longish bob a la Miss G. I really like it, but it seems to have grown out pretty fast and while still quite a bit shorter than shoulder length, I keep thinking maybe I'll cut it shorter, and shorter, and shorter.

P.S. I don't really have an answer as to why I'm eating a little brass Buddha in the second picture, I think maybe I'd missed breakfast or lunch.

Slow and sleepy Sunday

Sometimes I really like rainy days, where nothing much happens and you feel sort of sluggish and slow. After a really draining week it's been nice to sit inside and watch the weather changing from the sky light, and do some things around the house. Well, sort of things around the house! I washed my favourite blouse and hung it up to dry first thing, but the rest of the day was spent doing possibly less useful activities. These things included:

• Epilating my legs then wondering what ever possessed me to attempt it
• Writing lists in my favourite notebook with an accompaniment of two particular trinkets to distract me
• Completing two whole crosswords and four sudoku puzzles all by myself
• Watching Stealing Beauty for the second time and falling in love with it all over again
• Dreaming up floaty, floral dresses a la Liv Tyler and Rachel Weisz in said film
• Lots of lazy bed dwelling and napping with Leonard Cohen in the background

I had planned another outfit post for today but the rain got in the way - oh dear, I thought April Showers were meant to be in April, not May! Plus we have a guest staying in my room so I've been banished to the spare one, which happens to be stacked high with lots of things that we probably don't need - it's like an obstacle course of climbing and dodging things to get to the little bed which is hardly ever used!

Hope you're all having an equally lovely weekend whatever you're doing!

These are the things that I like

I wanted to do a Film Friday post today but I'm still collecting stills so I thought I'd pop this one up first to remind myself to cheer up. So here is a document of the things that have been making me happy this week:

1. A very rich cake I baked with more chocolate in it than any other ingredient, slightly too sour raspberries and some fresh Devon cream, eaten while re-reading a copy of Lula.
2. The bedtime book I'm reading: Notes on Nursing by Florence Nightingale. She's always been a little bit of a mystery figure for me and so reading her own opinions, rather than a biography explaining them, on the profession I am aiming towards is pretty exciting and enlightening! It's also really interesting (for me at least) to hear about the origins of "modern" nursing, and how the basic theories she revolutionised are still relevant and applicable today, one hundred and fifty years on.
3. Two lovely letters from two lovely penpals in Hong Kong and America, and the most perfect dress package from 1385.

And there are some things that aren't pictured, too. Being offered a job I had my heart set on, watching a whole gang of ducklings crossing the road, an old man with a suit and bow tie who I met in the Post Office queue, sleeping through the night and finally the endless and indescribable wonderfulness of this lady here.

What things have made you happy this week?

An Account of Thursday in Pictures

Here is a little list of the things that happened, in order of their happening:

1. House plants tended and watered
2. Straw hat embellished
3. Hotel booked
4. Penpal letters written and posted.

Life Development - Class C

The life I lived in The Life Development Centre

During the summer of last year, I travelled alone to Nepal. The trip was pre-planned - I spent months working for the man in order to afford it - and was the sort of typical middle-class, gap year rite of passage that I find myself making jokes about. It could have changed nothing but my bank account, my memories and (temporarily) my dress size. For a reason that I still can't quite figure out, it changed everything.

Most of my time was spent working at LDC, a privately run centre housing children and adults with mental and physical health problems ranging from mild to severe. The home was loud, dark, and claustrophobic, and the rooms I was working in even more so. The children were mainly left to their own devices with overstretched staff and limited resources - conditions went untreated and in many cases undiagnosed. The work was both physically and emotionally demanding, and there were a lot of times I felt helpless, frustrated and out of my depth.

For some reason - most likely stubbornness - I carried on regardless, and my experience of caring for the eleven children in the most "severe" group made me realise that actually, this is what I want to do with my life. It took me awhile to work out the implications of this realisation - six months later I found myself quitting my art degree, moving back home and applying for care jobs at my local hospital. All these changes might have happened anyway, but figuring it out now and not somewhere far into the future is really down to the time I spent with the class pictured above.